Madam blow kiss

The Madam Red that almost wasn't...

Sigh... trials and tribulations my friends, trials and tribulations. I had said last that I had ordered my Madam Red cosplay from a seamstress and would add personalized touches to it when it arrived. Well dahlings big mistake...

In the first week or so of April I sent out sketches, my fabric preferences, my deadline, and measurements to several seamstresses in order to receive estimated prices. I received several and chose among them. A week later after being assured that the fabric I wanted, the shade of red, and the design was understood and would be delivered ahead of the appointed deadline.

Four weeks pass with no communication, so I email the seamstress and after two days I receive a terse reply:

"sorry, but you did not pay for this dress."

REALLY?! ...HAH! THE HELL YOU SAY! I panicked checked my paypal records and took screenshots of the completed transaction and sent it to the seamstress politely asking about the status of my dress and when I might expect it. After another two days I receive...

"oh,my god,i see the payment,
sorry sincerely,i will arrange 5DAYs EMS shipping for the dress in 5-7days,so you may get it before the June
Many thanks!

Indeed, they never did describe how far along construction was on the dress... I suspect it wasn't complete or perhaps even started at the time I was sent this email. I waited anxiously for it to be delivered, and exactly seven days before animeNEXT it did indeed arrive...

As I pulled the package onto my lap to open it, warning bells went off in the back of my mind at its lightness. I knew very well that the design, done properly, would require quite a bit of fabric and that fabric would weigh quite a bit... I opened the plastic and the first thing that hit me was the COLOUR!!!

the dear Madam *excuse the spoiler* would turn over in her grave, and I would be haunted by ghost bees for the remainder of my life if I endeavored to wear such a thing...!!!!

Ahem. It was ORANGE! Also, the fabric used was exactly what I specifically asked NOT to be used... shiny ORANGE polyester satin. *shudder*

I specifically asked for gathered black poly chiffon for the neckline... I received black satin ribbon with a shallow rectangular neckline.

I asked for a ribbon rose for the center... I received a wad of used tissue looking thing out of the same orange satin.

As for the fit of the bodice.. the neckline gaped in the centre and was too large in the bust and the neckline was far tooo high. All in all a monstrosity, a true travesty in cheap orange satin...

And so... I was angry , frustrated, and then I cried. Then I thought, "What the hell, I'm just going to have to be Suiseiseki from Rozen Maiden." I flailed around my living room for a while and then I decided... I will do it. I can't leave my friends stranded. Also, since this would be our first true group cosplay I just couldn't bring myself to give that up...

Thus, I undertook the most ambitious project I have conceived of... A tea length red Victorian Era gown complete with large "butt bow faux bustle" and what felt like miles of knife edge pleats... that must be completed in only 7 days.

So that very same day, I went to two or three different fabric stores and had to reject different fabrics mostly because the colour was unacceptable. Then, finally at a small discount fabric store tucked away on a side street I found... a heavy poly/cotton or wholly polyester matt woven red fabric. I really didn't want polyester at all, but I sacrificed everything for the perfect colour and lack of obnoxious shine. The fabric I found happened to be extra wide 120 inches instead of the 45 that is standard. So, even though it was somewhat expensive... I was able to get away with 6 yards instead of 10 yards.

All told with the fabric for Pastry_Doodle's slouchy top hat, thread, trim, and fabrics for Madam Red it came to around $80.

When I got home, I borrowed my Aunty's sewing machine and I picked apart my monstrosity to use as a pattern.

In the end I managed... I was very difficult and I made plenty of mistakes, but I learned from it and perhaps one day I may even enter it in a cosplay competition. For now, I'm just pleased to have done it.

I even managed to complete cakewaltz 's skirt and Pastry_Doodle 's hat.


Even with all the effort and heartache I am pleased with the result and my Grell, Undertaker, and Beatrice looked fantastic. Indeed I would venture to say we where the best Grell, Madam Red, Undertaker, and Beatrice to be found at animeNEXT 2010. <3

Pastry_Doodle as Undertaker, I (KabukiRoad) as Madam Red, and furubariceball as my Grell <3

And cakewaltz my Beatrice...

In conclusion behold the fabulousness...

Since my lovely Grell has already provided a con report and I have nothing of consequence to add... I shall provide a live report on Miyavi's New York stop on the American leg of his Neo Tokyo Samurai Black World Tour. Please look forward to it.

Till then, dear reader <3

Your Madam Red
Madam blow kiss

Appologies for the hiatus...

Hello dearies,

Sorry for the long hiatus but I drowned in college work... Now that I've managed to pull myself to shore and collapse gasping having graduated Magna Cum Laude, I can get back to the really important things in life... concerts, cosplay, and cons.

Speaking of concerts... I'll be going to see Miyavi at the Fillmore in Mahatten around the end of June and I shall provide a live report <3 I also plan to buy VAMPS tickets, they are playing the Roseland Ballroom. I shall hopefully be providing a live report for that as well.<3 I may even see Aerosmith this summer if they play Jones Beach... In case 80s rockers appeal to anyone I'll report on them too if I go. <3

Cosplay... This years epic cosplay of epicness is *drumroll please* MADAME RED from KUROSHITSUJI!!! Well I'm cosplaying young Angelina Durless in the dress she wore to he sister's wedding. as in evidence here...

and here...

Yes well I'm cheating. I'm having the vast majority of the dress sewn for me... and before the inferno rains down upon me... These are my reasons:

1.) My sewing skills are no where near the level required to sew an Edwardian gown worn by a member of the aristocracy.
          a.) Actually I made an attempt to make the character sketch "walking dress" version of Madame Red however, I could not for the life of me find a fabric the right colour, weight, texture, or made of the correct material to construct the dress. *sigh*

2.) Madame Red is one of my favourite characters and I think she suits me. I had to choose a dress or suit of hers that would compliment my heavy thighs and large bosom. I also wanted an outfit that either hasn't been done yet or has been done only rarely.

and yes I drew this (chubby Madame Red ftw)

3.) Also, I couldn't bare to give up the idea of being Madame Red and being part of a group cosplay. I have a beautiful butler Grell (furubariceball) and a charming Undertaker (Pastry_Doodle).

And further in my defense... red fine mesh sleeves will have to be created and sewn on and any inaccuracies fixed by hand. Also the veil needs to be created and attached to the mini top hat, and the mini top hat itself edited.

My first disaster, other than having to switch the "character sketch" dress for the "wedding guest" dress, was the wig. The wig I was sent was a different wing entirely from the one I was sent. I almost had a heart attack. The colour was far too "copper" it was styled to be pated on the side so the bangs where far too skimpy to cut in the Baroness' iconic style. I managed to order another wig and this one is a "blue red" already cut in a bob. The wig itself is gloriously full with a silky texture... one has to actively part the hair to find the lacing. Needless to say I am inordinately pleased with it. So, all that remains is to cut the bangs...


My second disaster, the shoes. They are shown to be somewhat pointed red with black bows. I studiously ignored the semi-pointed part because I have a wide foot XP. So The first pair I found had a perfect red patent leather and large black satin bow. However, they where very pointed and the soles where tan. Now you think "Okay, they're pointed. I get it, but couldn't you bare with it?" Well perhaps, but the tan soles where really a turn off they just didn't look right. I would have much preferred them to be black. So, I scratched them off my list. Next I found a pair of Korean made red patent leather flats with black soles and round toes the problem was that the satin bow was red and would have to be changed and the size chart provided was VERY suspect. So much so that I couldn't truest them and so they where scratched off the list. So I ended up with these...

As for cosmetics and accessories... I plan to uses waterproof red lipliner for eyeliner and matching red lipstick. I think I will first line my eyes in black then put a line of red next to it... But, that's what makeup trials are for... I haven't decided whether I should do my eyebrows to match... we'll see.
I have red rose shaped earrings that I'll wear. And maybe a ring or two. My high school ring has a red stone in it and looks period sort of, and having Grell wear the same one may be rather cool. He is a family servant after all. I plan to take a very small black, at least period inspired, purse. There is a crocheted drawstring bag my Aunty has that I may be able to borrow that may be perfect. This will at least hold my phone and my wallet... for the rest, well I have a butler after all. My other accessory will be my arm candy, Grell. I even have Undertaker as a gofer. XP

I'm waiting for the dress to arrive to purchase the mesh for the veil and sleeves... so I suppose dear Angelina Durless is 85% complete. <3

I plan to debut Lady Angelina on Saturday at animeNEXT 2010 in New Jersey. If I go Sunday I will also debut Soul Evans from Soul Eater. I have all of the pieces, but I need to style the wig, and add the patches and minor details to the jacket. I also need to create shark like chompers... I think I'm short enough, and I do believe if I capture his attitude it will be quite fun.

All in all perhaps 80% complete...

I am also one of those in charge of dear Pastry_Doodle's Undertaker cosplay. So far I have his shoes, some of the beads for his necklaces, his part of his belt, his press-on nails, and his wig. His coat and robe should be here eventually. He should try on the shoes... well we'll see.

I also have to help style furubariceball's wig. I need to pick up some Got2beGlued spiking gel to go with my hair spray. We'll also have to look at pictures and decide what look to try to achieve... *sigh*

Also, for Furuba's sister my dear Furuba and I have to go thrift store hunting. I hope we can make her suit Beatrice from Umineko no naka kokoro ni...

I have sooo much work to do, but I'm gonna enjoy every second <3
Madam blow kiss

O-tanjoubi Omedetto gozaimasu Sakurai Atsushi-san!

Happy Birthday Sakurai Atsushi-san. All the best wishes in the world for health wealth and happiness on your birthday <3

and as a present for Sakurai-san's fans, I have screen caps from the new Dokudanjo Beauty PV...

Take please... My gift to you. If you do take though, please comment... Thank you <3
Madam blow kiss

Freud's Field Day and a Chubby girl's guide to picking prospective cosplays...

I have attended a number of anime conventions and I love to cosplay. I love the idea of being someone one isn't if only for a little while... I have seen excellent cosplayers, good cosplayers, cosplayers and deserve an "A" for effort, and travesties. I have seen people of all body types in each category. However I have noticed that it tends to be the "stout" cosplayers that garner the most negative attention. I'll never forget my first convention when I saw a very heavy woman cosplaying as Lulu from Final Fantasy... She looked gorgeous! This gave me hope and inspired me to try out cosplaying on regular basis, and that I might look just as good if I made an effort.

I am one of those people who need to be as accuarate as possible when they cosplay so I choose characters to cosplay based on "do I like them", their body type(how close in appearance are we), and difficulty of construction. I really have two lists one that contains characters I would like to play without any regard to what I may actually be able to pull off in real like ie mannerisms, body type, etc.

Here is my current practical "real life" cosplay wish list:

.hack//sign: Subaru

Air Gear: Simca/Ringo/Ume/Kururu
Air Master: Mina Nakanotani

Ao no Exorcist: Shiemi Moriyama (debuted NYCC/NYAF 2011)

Basilisk: Akeginu
Bleach: Unahana -squad 4 captain- (debuted I-Con 26 2007)
Buso Renkin: Tokiko
Chrono Crusade: Azmaria

D. Gray Man: Allen Walker/Grave of Maria/Miranda Lotto (Miranda is complete but has not yet debuted)

Elemental Gelade: Reverie Metherlance
FLCL: Eri/Mamimi
Fullmetal Alchemist: Trisha Elric/Cheska (Trisha debuted at I-Con 25 2006 Met Vic for the fist time.)
Gintama: Kyuubei/Ana Ketsuno
Gunslinger Girl: Claes
Kiddy Grade: Tweedledee

Kuroshitsuji: Beast/Baroness Angelina Durless aka "Madame Red" (I've done three versions of Madame... The dress young Angelina wears to her sister's wedding ((debuted animeNEXT 2009)) and the Walking dress pictured in Madame Red's official character design ((debuted animeNEXT 2010)) and Madame Red as the Queen of Hearts in the Ciel in Wonderland OVA ((debuted animeNEXT 2011))

Loveless: Hitomi Shinonome
Naruto: Hinata
Natsume Yuujinchou: Hinoe
Pumpkin Scissors: Lt. Malvin

Real Drive: Aoi
ROD: Yumiko
Rozen Maiden: Suiseiseki (completed debuted at NYAF 2008)
Rurouni Kenshin: Tae-san
S-cry-d: Kanami
Sekirei: Tsukiume/Musubi
Solty Rei: Solty

Soul Eater: Marie-sensei/Soul Evans (Marie debuted at AnimeNext 2009) (Soul is 90% complete)

Tenjo Tenge: Maya -chibi-

Trigun: Wolfwood/Rem/Dominique the Cyclops (Wolfwood debued BAAF 2003)

Trinity Blood: St. Ester
Uchuu no Stellvia: Yayoi
Umineko: Shannon
Utawarerumono: Eruru
Wallflower: Sunako -chibi-
YYH: Shisuru
Yume Tsukai: Misako Mijima/Touko Mishima

American McGee's Alice in Wonderland videogame: Classic Alice (debuted NYCC/NYAF 2011)/Steamdress Alice/Royal Suit Alice/Late but Lucky Alice

This post is also dedicated to the amazing conversation/help with furubariceball ... Epic... Monumentally Epic... Also, con season or at least con planning season has begun here on the East coast and so I present... my  "dream" cosplay list.

My "dream" cosplay list...*

.hack//sign: Subaru
Air Gear: Simca/Ringo/Benkei
Air Master: Maki
Ao no Exorcist: Shura Kirigakure/Yukio Okumura
Basilisk: Akeginu
Battle Angel Alita: Alita
Betterman: Luma
Black Blood Brothers: Jiro Mochizuki
Blood+: Saya (past i.e dress and long hair)
Buso Renkin: Tokiko
Card Captor Sakura: Ruby Moon/Layla MacKenzie
Chrono Crusade: Chrono
Claymore: Teresa/Galatea/Claire
D. Gray Man: Allen Walker/LaLa/Grave of Maria/Road Camelot/Tikki
Elemental Gelade: Kuea
Eureka 7: Anemone
Ergo Proxy: Re-L Mayer
FLCL: Haruko Haruhara
Fullmetal Alchemist: Olivier Miria Armstrong
Ghost in the Shell: Motoko
Gintama: Tama/Tsukuyo/Paako/Zurako
Grenadier: Rushuna/
Gunslinger Girl: Claes
Heat Guy J: Antonia Belucci
Hellsing: Integra/Allucard
Kiddy Grade: Eclaire/Tweedledee
Kuroshitsuji: Sebastian/"pre-lobotomy" Undertaker/Doll
Loveless: Soubi/Hitomi Shinonome
Naruto: Hinata (time skip)/Kakashi
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Mari Illustrious Makinami/ Rei Ayanami
Pumpkin Scissors: Lt. Malvin
Pretear: Takako
RaXephon: Reika
Real Drive: Holon
ROD: Nancy Makuhari "Ms. Deep"
Rozen Maiden: Souseiseki
Rurouni Kenshin: Himura Kenshin
S-cry-d: Kazuma
Sekirei: Kazehime/Homura/ Inn Lady
Skip Beat: Kyoko
Solty Rei: Solty
Soul Eater: Chrona/Arachne
Speed Grapher: Kagura
Spice and Wolf: Holo
Tenga Toppa Gurren Lagann: Yoko
Tenjo Tenge: Maya
Trigun: Wolfwood/Rem/Dominique the Cyclops
Trinity Blood: Able Nightroad/Lilith/Hugue de Watteau
Uchuu no Stellvia: Yayoi/Najima/Ren Renge
Umineko: Virgilia/Belphegor
Utawarerumono: Eruru/Yuzuha
Vampire Knight: Seiren
Wallflower: Sunako
XXX Holic: Yuuko
YYH: Kurama/Youko/young Genkai/Botan
Yume Tsukai: Misako Mijima/Touko Mishima

*This list has some series additions and some character additions for individual series*
Madam blow kiss

X-Japan to play in America... X-Japan! BUCK-TICK, ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION!?!?


Yeah, this news deserved a whole post by itself...

See see see if if X-Japan will come to America Buck-Tick could too! *fangirling spazzing general frothing at the mouth...* >w<

I was saving this for to spazz about upon my birthday but the implications and possibilities X-Japan has opened up are really too good to pass up.

I fell in love with Buck-Tick 5 years ago... though I didn't really know it at the time. I had watched an episode of the anime Nightwalker in the library of my high school in my senior year. I heard the opening theme and nearly swooned listening to the singer. A quick search revealed that singer to be Sakurai Atsushi-san and the band to be Buck-Tick. I had no computer at home or no real way to keep any of their music. So unfortunatly our budding romance languished... It wasn't until I got Corbin (my laptop... see earlier posts) that I was able to renew and strengthen our romance. I was a quiet but devoted fan in the beginning. Riding on the swell of popularity Buck-Tick recieved in America from having "Dress-Bloody Trinity Mix-" chosen as the opening theme to Trinity Blood.

It has been in the last two years or so that I have blossomed into the passionate (not crazed or rabid... I think... I hope... <.< >.>) fangirl that I am today. Not only do I find Sakurai-san to be the most transcendentally gorgeous man I have even seen... His voice... my God his voice...

It is said that the human voice is a delicate, sympathetic and perfect musical instrument. The psychologist views the voice as an indicator of character and personality, whereas the physiologist views it as an indispensable organ for the survival of mankind. In every respect, the human voice is superior to all man-made instruments. All man-made instruments are designed to cover a fixed range. This naturally inherent instrument - the human voice - not only does it not have a definite range, its range can be extended through practice. Muscular movements can create a variety of sounds as complex as humans are. To date no inventor has built a musical instrument in exact imitation of the human voice.

Sakurai-san has the ability, like no other I have ever heard (in my admittedly rather short life and limited experience), to inject strong emotion into every song he sings. From the "Gessekai", that evokes fine wine and chocolate, lounge singers, and sensual decadent bluesy crooning, to "Silent Night" that is an earnest heartbreaking plea for forgivness that I cannot listen to without shedding tears.

That is what is truely gorgeous about Sakurai-san his ability to evoke emotions strong enough to make you shed tears, to let your spirits soar, and yes... even to make you fall in love. *sigh*
((God, did I cry when I found out he was married... "I thought I should break my heart."-Pride and Prejudice))

The other band members have said...

Hisashi: He's hard to know, he's so secretive.

Hide: He's much more social than he appears to be. He's charasmatic.

U-ta: I think he's a good vocalist. His face looks mean but he's very kind.

Toll: Atsushi used to be the drummer and I have given him drumming lessons in the past. When he became he vocalist and turned around on stage and looked at me, the look in his eyes was so different from when he was the drummer. He took to it like a fish takes to water. I think it's where he belongs.


Imai-san is a glorious oddball. Quirky, always amusing, and sweet in his novel way of looking at the world. He is a brilliant guitar player and composer. And I will never forget those curly yellow elf shoes on the 13kai with Diana Tour... the black feather wig... the dreadlocks... the animal skull for Memento mori... *grins and shakes head*
I love it when he sings... Alice in Wonder Underground, Buster, and especially Sid Vicious ON THE BEACH!!!

The other band members have said...

Atsushi: He's energetic.

Hide: He's comical, a funny guy. 

U-ta: He is quiet. He doesn't engage in idle chatter. As a guitarist, he fuels Buck-Tick with his instinctive playing. 

Toll: Hisashi always was kind of like the leader. He was the one who had the vision in regards to the future since the beginning. He was one of my younger brother's friends in high school. I would always speak to Hisashi first by saying "Hey Imai" and after about one year Hisashi finally spoke to me first, "Anii", which surprised me that Hisashi finally struck up a conversation on his own.


Hoshino "Hide"-san is always a cool customer. His acoustic guitar work is glorious. He was a classmate of the bassist U-ta-san. The clips from the tour date that his birthday fell on are amazing.

The other band members have said...

U-ta: Hide is straight-laced (majime), a big guy, a good guy. I think we've known each other ever since we started high school. 

: I got to know him as my younger brother's classmate. He's quiet. Basically, he's not one to scream and make a lot of noise, compared to Atsushi. Actually my brother and I are the noisiest.


Higuchi "U-ta"-san, the youngest and most adorable and most garrulous member in the band. I'd love to know how many an awkward interview was saved by U-ta-san, quite a number I imagine. When asked what was amazing about U-ta.. each of the other members had the same answer... Its amazing when he's serious!

The other band members have said...

Atsushi: U-ta is always U-ta. He never changes. Everyone in this band is childish but he's the most childish. What's amazing about him?: the depth of his seriousness (majime).

Hisashi: He's the older brother's younger brother. (laughs) Everyday you hear the sound (of his electric metronome) "pyo-pyo pyo-pyo" (when he practices). Is there a meaning to it? He's an idiot with his antics. (laughs) What's amazing about U-ta?: hmm, (copying what the staff members said), he's straight-laced (majime). 

Hide: I've known him the longest out of all the members. His appearance has changed but he hasn't changed at all. He has a serious side (majime). 

Toll: He's my younger brother. (laughs) I met everyone through him. Since we're brothers our communication is smooth but we still have to rehearse. He's picky on the small details. When we are in the recording in the studio and when we rehearse, we are first to go in together as the rhythm section, then later the whole band. As a band it's rare that the rhythm section rehearses together alone because usually it's the whole band.


Yagami Toll "Aniki" or "Anii". Yagami-san is the oldest member of Buck-Tick and the drummer. Toll tends to tell it like it is. Tthe members look up to him as an older brother and he is also in control of the band's management.

The other band members have said...

Atsushi: Hmmm, well they are brothers and as such spend a lot of time together. The band has been together 20 years but as brothers they've been together much longer. They have to put up with each other. There are times you can't tell who's younger. If you spend any amount of time with Anii you will know that he is down to earth. 

Hisashi: Anii is always Anii. Always the same. 

Hide: Anii exists as my enemy (laughs). He's a very fun guy. 

U-ta: He is older so he works hard. He's my brother so I can't talk about him.

Their latest album is Memento mori and their new single Dokudanjo Beauty is due at the end of March. They have been making music for somewhere around 25 years. and I hope to all thats holy for 25 more years. Please please please follow X-Japan's example and come to America! I think I might die of a brain embolism due to excessive happiness. Best death EVER. No... wait Buck-Tick standing room only venue, stage like 5ft away from the barrier... 5ft Away from Sakurai Atsushi-san... NOSEBLEED... HEMORRHAGING... BEST DEATH EVER!

Incidentally... the "Gessekai" single was released on my birthday...
I tell you its destiny.
Madam blow kiss

"Oh you can go back to sleep afterwards..." Dulcet lies to trap the unsuspecting.

(...for amusement sake people are being represented by songs. If you know the song you may get a sample of either my feeling toward them or their personality)


Snow day! *little happy dance of joy* I slept in till my inconsiderate family's cacaphony woke me. As I was attempting to steadfastly ignore it, my Aunty -"Trouble" by VAMPS- came in and in dulcet tones *translated as "You're going to shovel. Be downstairs in 5 min.* asked me if I would help her shovel. After bundling up and heading outside, I read the directions and helped "Trouble" start the snow blower. The snow blower by the by, is broken... Specifically the plastic hood that directs where the snow is blown. Needless to say in two seconds I was soaked. There was snow in my hood, down my back, my pants where soaked... there was even snow in my pockets. We have a corner property so needless to say I was not looking forward to tackling the snowy sidewalk. I spent about three hours shoveling, dodging dirty looks from "Trouble" because I was listing to music while I shoveled. By the time I was done, it was nearly dinner time. I was going to do some school work, but I had to ask dear Warden "Trouble" for permission to use my laptop Corbin. (Corbin... Yes, I named my aging Dell gaming behemoth. Corbin Dallas after Bruce Willis' character from the movie the Fifth Element ((*_* I ADORE that movie)) She did grudgingly, but only for two hours or so. I have two four page papers to do and studying for an Economics midterm to deal with. I was angry, but I thought... What the hell, I'll play the Warden's game. I'll have two more days... *excuse me while I burst into crazed laughter*


I woke up to more cacophony and another wake up by dear Warden Aunty "Trouble". This time the wake up was all syrup and honey. I should have suspected something, but sweet obliging unsuspecting sucker that I am, I docilely comply. She promised me that I could go right back to bed after I went with her to Costco... And I believed her... More fool me. After an hour or so in Costco, and an hour or so unloading and hauling things to the basement freezer, and trying not break my neck on thinks people have left on the stairs. Getting yelled at for being lazy etc. ect. as always... It was dinner time. After dinner, Warden "Trouble" gave me a glare that said... "Do it. I DARE you. I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU to ask me for computer time. Do it so I can say "no" and watch the light in your eyes die a little." *insert megalomanic laughter here* So needless to say I got no work done yesterday. The Warden doesn't accept school work as an explanation. In fact she doesn't accept explanations at all. She calls them "rationalizations" and wont listen anyway. So the only two weapons I have in a conflict is a bovine stare and nearly endless patience. I'm an effing virtuoso when it comes to the passive, non confrontational, long-suffering, blank stare. Its infinetly easier to let her yell herself out and then apologize to her (even if you did nothing wrong) *only as the last resort of last resorts of course.I have my pride.* and then go right back to business as usual (in other words... just continue doing what she bitched about b/c you know damn well there is nothing objectionable about what you where doing, and that in a normal family it wouldn't have been an issue). Ah the survival/defense mechanisms we develop to save our sanity. *sigh*


And here we are on Sunday... Essay one: O% complete. Essay 2: 10% complete. Economics studying: You're kidding right.

Our latest spat was about a book I ordered for her from England. The, exchange rate from pound sterling to dollars changed so she thought she was paying less than she actually was. This became mea culpa of course. She cursed and was vicious and I just didn't care enough to fight because its noooooo use. There is nooooo point. You never win anyway. So I fall on my sword as usual. Consequently, now I'm irritated, but listening to Buck-Tick's "Nakayubi" is making me feel better. If you look up the lyrics you'll understand. XP However, IF SHE DOESN'T SHUT UP   <.<    ...even "Nakayubi" will be of no help.
Madam blow kiss

*sigh* An existentialist for a day... Its got to be the rain.

I was such an existentialist today... It was so hard to get up this morning, I could feel that it was raining even before I opened my eyes. I had an hour and a half or so before my first class. I went to the library... oi crowded 'twas. I curled up in one of those purple chairs to read "A White Man's Burden" for economics.

Later, walking back to the business building for class, I felt just like the weather. Grey, melancholy, and disconnected from the world around me. Then chorus and we sang a pretty Chinese folk song "Jasmine Flower" *sigh* Pretty pretty. Then, then, oh oh oh the pianist chose a quartet an AMAZING tenor, a delicate pretty voiced Sop I, a delicate pretty Alto, and a gentle bass. They sounded INCREDIBLE in GERMAN singing BRAHMS. *waves upon waves of inferiority --__--* 

I chilled with furubariceball and walked her to her Yuki-chan.

There is nothing like music to lift your mood and reconnect you.

I went to my last class and we where discussing the phrase; "I Love You". One person said it  was just an expected phrase after a series of almost scripted behaviours... i.e a date, then a few dates, then kissing, then saying "I love You" is expected... HAH! The coldness of that answer bothered me. *growl* So, I raised my hand and I just offered my opinion, but without me intending it it kinda came out as a rebuttal. I felt sorta like Dr. Matchmaker's pitbull. XP

It seemed like "Gravity" by Maaya Sakamoto was today's theme song...

Madam blow kiss

"Ah Ah Ah give me chocolate-o." *dances around*

One of the things in particular that you should know about me is... I am not, nor have I ever been, or indeed probably ever will likely to be... a morning person. Today getting up was especially hard, but I sorta brought that upon myself... *sheepish grin* I had a problem set due for economics today. I had the weekend to do it, but due to the ongoing laptop hostage crisis I ended up staying up till the early hours of the morning to finish. When it was assigned I took a look and said to myself, "Oh dahling its only four problems! You'll be done in no time!"... HAH! Four problems yes with five parts each plus show all work plus graphs, paragraphs, and explanations. *flops over* Leaving that till Sunday night was a baaaaaad idea. My economics professor is a sweetheart though. Though, I think his wardrobe consists of just one tweed jacket... period. Which I just find rather amusing. 

I have a penchant for obnoxiously large headphones (if my profile pic is any indication). I have a few pairs and I like to coordinate them to what I'm wearing. I am never without my mp3 player. *fondly pats her Creative ZEN* So today, with my orange sweater and spring green shirt, I wore my vintage green Skullcandys with the white pin-striping. If I don't have any work to do, I just take a seat in the business building and put Buck-Tick on shuffle, have lunch, and sneak in some leisure reading.

I am required to take a social theory class to complete my major. In this class we are being subjected to the movie "A Clockwork Orange" its supposed to illustrate Functional and Neo-Functional social theory. *shudders*  What can I say, the lighting and colours are all bright hard metallics and pastels. Its decadent, slick, and hard... All in all, I don't care a wit for it. Also, the Professor reminds me somewhat of a female Don Vito Corleone from the Godfather. Not appearance wise of course XP but, diction wise... or lack there of. She's a mush mouth, no hard consonant sounds at all. Her natural speaking cadence is also quite rapid so these two items make understanding her a bit difficult to say the least.

Thank goodness for anime. Seriously, I have a large paper and presentation due for this "Professor Corleone" and I would be hard pressed to find a more perfect example of Baudrillard's Neo-classical social theory than Masamune Shirow's Ghost in the Shell particularly the Laughing Man bit. Some parts of the movie Ghost in the Shell: Innocence might work, Batou gets all heavily philosophical somewhere in the middle. Also, Metropolis might work, as well. I'll have to rewatch these... 

I dozed for a bit in the library... I needed that. Petition to bring back nap time? Yes please!

Senior Seminar is boring... but there where lovely cupcakes so I survived <3

Straight to chorus and getting to see furubariceball. Except she's waaaaaay the hell over in the Alto II section. -reeeeeeaaaaacccccchhhhhhh-
I... dislike singing in German... quite a bit. In fact I may be developing a severe allergic reaction to singing in German. Brahms is very pretty to sing, but sliding up and down so close to the vocal rafters is a bit a of a pain. I have a fervent wish that some chorus that I'm in one day does Laputa's theme from Miyazaki's Laputa: Castle in the Sky. *sigh* If wishes where horses, even beggars would ride...

Oi its dark at 5... my absolute least favourite part of winter. I just want to snuggle under the covers and laze about. *curls up in a pile of covers and sticks out her tongue* It doesn't help that I have to get up at an ungodly hour in the morning tomorrow to make it to an 8 o'clock  Methods lab. I'll probably be making up interview questions and practicing interviewing once again. Its just facing that professor so early in the morning... She irritates me to no end. She possesses this arrogant, holier-than-thou attitude. She is just... so... so, well... obnoxious and I... just ...I  ugh! Eh, never mind. Wait... oh fiddlesticks I have to make up interview questions for that oral history assignment and email them to "Professor Obnoxious".

*sigh* At least I have music to soothe me as I attempt to keep from drowning in my drudgery. On that cheery note, I'll close...

Oyasumi-nasai minna-san. Good Night and Sweet Dreams to all. <3
Madam blow kiss

Well... Who am I and what am I doing here anyway...

Hello, pleased to make the acquaintance of all. My name is Christine though I have and do answer to Chris. Here, I shall be your KabukiRoad... A road that will travel through life in a manner as unique and different as one star is from another in the sky. I am a road less traveled, do walk with me for a time...

I decided to jump on the LiveJournal bandwagon... I did so 'cause I needed a place to pour out my thoughts and express myself. I had a bound journal once, but my parents would read it... and therefore expressing myself honestly therein became quite impossible. The interwebs however lends me a measure of anonymity, and with that in mind I thought I would try my hand at putting my thoughts down, not on paper perhaps, but here my gentle readers...

*raises glass* To you gentle readers, and to something new well begun...

Kampai! <3